It is one of the most beautiful compensations of this life
that no man can sincerely try to help another
without helping himself.
--Ralph Waldo Emerson
On a flight recently, a high school senior asked me where I was going. I explained that I would be conducting a two-day retreat on Communication and Team Synergism. She wanted to know more about the content, and at the conclusion of my Reader's Digest version, she said:
"Oh, so you help grown-ups get along?!"
Her interpretation hit me right between my eyes. I had never thought of it that way. As an educator for 15 years, my primary task was teaching children to GET ALONG so we could get some work done! And now, as a consultant, author, and speaker for over a decade, I have a similar objective, only with an adult audience. What the high-school senior said seemed so simple, and yet, so profound. Adults too, need to re-visit how to get along so that we can get the work done.
I think you go around with the insane delusion that people like you!
--Woody Allen, Deconstructing Harry
Research indicates that of all people who are downsized, or just plain fired -- only 20% lack technological know-how or competence. 80% are let go because they are not able to deal with personal differences and emotional situations in the work environment.
Now, more than ever before, we need to know how to "get along." The demands on our attention, energy and time are greater than ever before as productivity expectations increase and technology speeds up our ability to get tasks done. A project which used to take 10 weeks, now may be expected in 10 days! This, demands that people communicate with an "instant" understanding between them, and also that they determine how to commit and go forward. One common theme I see, as I work with teams in the corporate environment, is the belief that we all have to agree before there can be forward movement! At Intel, they have a motto:
Disagree and then Commit!
Their consensus is that it works... and it's still difficult.
We are human after all, and we all tend to have a bit of arrogance in holding on to the notion that my way is the only way. So what do we do about this? Demystify Compatibility! Compatibility, or the lack of it, is not such a mystery. Both rapport and tension are rather predictable, once you know what to look for.
Communication breakdown comes from not fully understanding other people. We try to talk to other people in a language that we expect them to understand, when in fact they are listening and speaking in another language; "their" language.
Discover the Art & Science of Authentic Open-Hearted CONNECTION
You will learn the art and science behind the attitudinal energy impact on how your behavior is affected both by the situations you are in and your social style, which is the result of many years of conditioning and development. No style is better than any other, yet you enhance your relationship with others if you understand your motivations, strengths and weaknesses, and those of people around you.
When I am brought in to corporations to work on Communication, Leadership and/or Team Synergism, the first thing we do is determine the Predominant Communication Styles of each participant. Understand that you will have a little bit of every color. What we are most interested in is where you dig in your heals during difficult encounters -- this is your Predominant Color.
Go to the Connecting with Colors link and take some time to investigate the descriptions of the different styles and the way they interact.
So what happens, now that you know your type, and you work with a type that polarizes you?
Treat a person as he is, and he will remain as he is.
Treat a person as if he were what he could be, and he
will become what he could and should be.
--Goethe
|
