Dear Difference Maker,

"The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil,
but because of the people who don't do anything about it." - Albert Einstein

"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter."
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

"Nothing should be overlooked in fighting for better education.
Be persistent and ornery; this will be good for the lethargic educational establishment
and will aid the whole cause of public education."
- Roy Wilkins, a prominent civil rights activist in the United States from the 1930s to the 1970s.
Wilkins' most notable role was in his leadership of the
National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP).

In light of the heartbreaking event in Connecticut and the others both recent and past, I, like you, find myself wishing I could do more to make a difference in every dark corner of our world. The only thing I keep coming back to is that you and I together - with a compassionate and effective approach to dealing with every single person within our circle of influence - absolutely could be healing the generational legacies of pain permeating our society and world today.

I've successfully worked with thousands of children and families over the past 30 years and the biggest problem I see as a society, that ignites violence, is our attitudinal and verbal labeling system, which only aggravates and compounds behavioral misconduct and failure. This of course leads to kicking behaviorally disruptive kids out of class repeatedly - sending them home or to detention - and then they are ending up in our jails, or even worse, killing themselves and others. This is our cycle of failure that we are not doing nearly enough about; to teach people exactly how they can be doing things differently.

The reports coming in are saying in this recent incident that this young person had a personality disorder. Disorders begin the second we label children and labels are conveyed instantaneously through the attitudinal energy of judgment, condemnation and limitation.

For far too long now, we have not been dealing effectively and constructively with behaviors that are literally magnifying a problem that has existed in our educational system and therefore society. Attitudinal disdain, labeling and the erroneous belief that we are entitled to do so is the problem.

Having lost a child, I can tell you that the grief is deep; and even this does not even begin to explain its impact.

I can also tell you that the one thing that will be on the minds of so many is, "What can I do to make sure this never happens again?" ...and that is specifically why I am reaching out right here, right now to come up over the error of thinking that the problem is too big for one person to really make a difference.

I believe that to truly honor the lives of those who have been lost to us, we must all stand up and make a difference right now. And if you are a person who has been avoiding dealing with the difficult people and situations in your life, then NOW would be the right time to learn what you must know to be effective and intentionally transformative in every single one of your day-to-day interactions. It is accumulative - one way or another - it's all accumulative!

My life's work is about teaching people exactly how to improve relationships one person, one situation at a time. I am passionately driven by these kinds of events to bring what I know works to the forefront. And yes, this is why I've developed programs that any person wishing to make a significant and transformative difference could be taking into their organizations and delivering one step - one hour - one day, week and month at a time.

My thoughts and prayers go out to the bereaved with great sadness for such unnecessary loss.

Please join me in reaching out to make a world of difference ...

Mary Robinson Reynolds
makeadifference.com/UTrain

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Heart Productions & Publishing, Greater Boston Area, 800-249-6587