From the desk of ... Mary Robinson Reynolds, M.S. Educational Psychology, Counseling & Development
Re: This week's unexpected inspiration ...Using Old School Tactics SUCKs!
Dear Difference Maker,
It's almost time for school to start, and everywhere I go - and I do mean EVERYWHERE - I hear people saying things about their kids that are is UNBELIEVABLE. And what is even more unbelievable to me is that they are not hearing what's coming out of their own mouths.
Whether you are a teacher or a parent, using Old-School Authoritarian tactics for controlling/managing children, 'tweens and teens never did work, never will work.Telling yourself that the way to go is to spank, yell at, suspend or expel kids from school to teach them a lesson, OR emotionally abandon them, use your disappointment on them, use guilt, shame, or condescension to get them to STRAIGHTEN UP - get a grip, get it figured out already, sit down and shut up - is a STORY you tell yourself.
Telling yourself a story basically means that you don't believe there's another way, but that doesn't mean there isn't one! It also might mean you fear that, by changing things up to what will actually heal the social emotional issues our children face, you are being disloyal to your parents.
Well, your parents would probably be the first to admit that they did the best they could with the OLD SCHOOL, abusive skill set they were operating from. You can justify, rationalize, explain, defend and debate your entitlement to continue to use abusive tactics, AND things will stay exactly the same. There will be NO improvement, and you will continue to be a contributing force to the generational legacy of pain that keeps our society sick and uncivil.
And, if your parents were wonderful, then GREAT, I'm not talking to you. You are probably getting 100% positive results with kids, so simply pass this along to someone who is NOT getting 100% positive results.
You say 100% isn't possible? Well I got 100%... so I guess it IS possible!
Do I sound FIRED UP? Well I am...
I marvel at how people can label and be attitudinally, energetically disabling and then wonder why they are getting belligerent - failing - results from their kids!!
With as much enlightenment as has been going on in our society for the past several decades, it's mind-boggling that people don't SEE that it's MATHEMATICAL; you say this and you GET THIS back! 1 + 1 = 2
Old School's Harsh, Condescending - Figure it Out - Authoritarian techniques have significantly wounded more people in our society than they have helped.... just look at our prisons, our drug abuse, our suicides, our obesity - I can go on and on... but I won't.
In the old days, they used to use blood-letting - literally drain people of their blood - to try to get them well, too... and that didn't work either! When you see any percentage of students failing in school and in life, it's called a CLUE!
Don't dismiss what's happening by saying, "It's just the Bell Curve, and that's all that is possible."
I'm writing today to say "GET WITH A PROGRAM THAT WORKS!" - www.AcademicSuccess101.com
What we've done as a society - for the most part with Old School tactics - is pushed people down to the ground, put our foot on their shoulder and then yelled at them to GET UP! Get a Grip, Get over it, Figure it out!
IF you think the teen years are hell, then you need a TOTALLY NEW understanding of what's really going on and what is actually - and delightfully - possible.
IF you have a teen that's dangerously sexually active, then you need the SKILLS SET to learn how to even speak to your teens to teach them how to value themselves.
If you have a teen that is using drugs, then it's time for you to learn what they are MIRRORING about their view of the world and the adults in their home/school environment!
If you have a child that lies to you, then you need to learn what's not SAFE about you and your current communication style.
If you have a school where most of the children are self-centered and only seem to care about themselves, fight each other over the smallest things, then you, your teachers and staff ALL need the SKILL SET to build a SAFE, compassionate, acknowledging COMMUNITY for the kids to understand that they really do matter, how powerful they are and what a difference they MAKE.
If you want to take charge, to LEAD ...then you need to learn how your Attitude is either calling out the BEST in everyone or it's sending the best away.
I've successfully worked with thousands of other people's children, and successfully raised three of my own, and I will tell you that, if you are not succeeding with 100% of the kids, it's ALL in YOUR ATTITUDE and limited knowledge base - Old School Skill Set! Every problem has a solution. Come learn what solutions work!
It's NOT YOUR FAULT that you do not have the knowledge and skills that actually work ...that is, up until today!
After today, there is NO excuse. The information that actually works is available for you right here, and right now.
Don't DO another school year the way you've painstakingly gone through all of the previous school years!
Check out my video at: www.AcademicSuccess101.com
It's August, the time to pre-pave the way to a phenomenal, easy flowing year with kids of any and all ages NOW. Go watch my video!
Reaching out to make a world of difference 2012-2013!
Mary
Author & Founder of Heart Productions & Publishing
makeadifference.com/Education
Heart Productions & Publishing, Greater Boston Area, 800-249-6587