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One remark I hear parents often make is that they've got a 20-something kid who is selfish and not doing their part around the house and/or getting on with their lives.

There is some exciting new research that actually explains
that the frontal lobe is not completely developed in
adolescence until about age 27!

The challenges facing parents and children's lives and our educational communities are too great, and our journey too important not to be examining and implementing the basic connecting and thinking strategies that really do work to create the best experiences possible.

Please take a minute to watch my video about Making A Difference with the Power of Connection ...

Remember: 50-65% GOT KIDS?! Summer Special Discount ENDS TODAY

TOGETHER ... we can make a world of difference.

Teenagers & Consequences!

If you subscribe to the belief that life is going to be a roller coaster ride when children become adolescents, then that belief is "your attitude," and you are most definitely programming an expectation that will become a self-fulfilling experience.

If your attitude is anything but compassionate positive regard, it is interfering with any attempt to communicate. You must modify your attitude by re-labeling your limited beliefs about what your experience will be with teenagers. Start connecting with compassion. It's not easy for adolescents to be with adults who consistently launch their negative, limiting "attitudes" at them.

Deborah Yurgelun-Todd is the director of neuro-psychology and cognitive neuro-imaging at McLean Hospital in Belmont, MA. Her recent work suggests that teens' brains actually work differently than adults' when processing emotional information from external stimuli. In a recent study of mapping differences between brains of adults and teens, Todd put teenage and adult volunteers into an MRI and monitored how their brains responded to a series of pictures. The results were surprising. When she examined their brain scans, Todd found that the teenagers were using a different part of their brain when viewing the images

There was an age-dependent or age-related change between the ages of eleven and seventeen, with the most dramatic difference being in the early teen years. One aspect of the scientists' work has been to look at the frontal part of the brain, which has been known to underlie thought, anticipation, planning and goal-directed behavior. They studied the relationship of this part to the more inferior, or lower part, of the brain, which has been associated with gut responses.

The frontal lobe, the executive region that was studied, is not always functioning fully in teenagers. That would suggest that teenagers aren't thinking through the consequences of their behaviors. Now this explains so much!

One of the implications of this work is that, in relationship to emotional information, the teenager's brain may be responding more with gut reaction - impulsive behavior - than with an executive or measured, thoughtful response.

Realize that, if teenagers are not fully developed in thinking through consequences of their behavior, then younger children certainly are not either.

Shaming and name calling adolescents into behaving does not teach them to use their judgment, but rather teaches them that they are incompetent, incapable, irresponsible and inept ... and of course, self-absorbed giving the appearance of being selfish.

This actually induces more of the unwanted behavior, because we are coming "at" the unwanted behaviors instead of using the language of positive reinforcement, expectation, directives and choices.

Frontal lobe development research now helps us understand how a compassionate response - activating the frontal lobe - to an emotionally upsetting situation soothes problematic behaviors quickly.

This also explains why making desired behavior about the "consequences," rather than teaching choice-making and skill acquisition, does not teach them a lesson!

Repeatedly threatening harsh consequences will never instill the skill acquisition you want to see children and teenagers growing into.

To read more about the implications of this work go to: makeadiff.us?ConnectnFlashBook
*Click on Tab 7 at the top RH side of the book and click in the lower RH corner once to get to page 60.*

Make A Difference with the Power of Connection Gift Book is available for you to read in its entirety as a virtual book online at: makeadiff.us?ConnectnFlashBook

"I was so pleased to receive a copy of Make A Difference with the Power of Connection Gift Book and DVD. Your work is helping so many parents and educators connect with students that are often difficult to reach. Thank you for your hard work and tireless dedication to our schools and students."
- Elizabeth Burmaster, State Superintendent
State of Wisconsin Department of Public Instruction

"Your latest book is an absolute treasure! I wish every person entering the teaching profession were able to read it - able and REQUIRED to read it! It's a book for ALL people. Wonderful bit of writing. I repeat! Your parents would be so proud of you! Keep up the good work, Mary and a big "thank you" for my copy. I shall read it again many times. I especially enjoyed the story about Randy - and haven't we all had a Ranndy in our classrooms? Bless you for changing so many kids like this lives."
- Doris Wiens, Retired Educator – NE

"I just got done reading your newly released book Make a Difference with the Power of Connection. Wow! I had so many light bulb moments as I was reading it. I would like to get your book called No Labels, No Limits next. I am a 45 year old mom of two girls. My oldest daughter is 16, and I can see where I have not been connecting with her, and can hardly wait for her to come home from her band camp to start connecting. My baby is just 18 months old, and I can see where I have already started the same sad way of reacting to things. But now I am certain I can change that too. I really appreciate the help your writing is giving me. Thank you."
- Kelly Harris, Parent – CA

Reaching out to make a difference,
Mary Robinson Reynolds, M.S.
MakeADifference.com/Education

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