Seeing Bullying Behaviors as an opportunity for societal transformation ...

In watching this past Friday night's documentary on Bullying, I was struck by the significant error we are making in our schools, businesses and communities where this unskilled behavior has become magnified. Unfortunately, the first option for intervention taking place, is still largely about "coming at" the individuals with the unskilled, bully behavior, i.e., force, shame, disappointment, detention and expulsion.

The second option used by individuals without effective skills is to say, "Cyberbullying is not the schools responsibility because it happens off campus," so we are going to keep our heads in the sand saying, "We don't see it happening at school, so it must not be happening!" ...and thereby minimizing the importance of this as it directly plays out in academics. It is one of the major reasons why schools can't get their test scores up no matter how hard they try to teach kids how to take tests!

The third option shown for dealing with this is to move away to another town without dealing with the underlying causes generating it in the first place. The cameras follow one young student from school to school, the mother suing the schools involved for not taking any actions to help her daughter, and still, no one was talking about what this girl needs to learn how to do differently right along side those doing the bullying.

Not one of these options has anything to do with learning "how" to do things differently! Sure they have support groups for the "victims" to talk about how awful it is to be a victim rather than, "Here is an opportunity to step more fully into your own greatness and power. Here are the specific skills and self-introspection to do that!"

And what about the individuals caught in a cycle of unskillful, hurtful bully behaviors? What are we doing about them? Not enough I can tell you that. They need the same exact training and support as mentioned above. It's no different! Individuals who bully see themselves as victims too, only they mistakenly believe themselves to be justified.

These situations are presenting the perfect opportunities for transformation ... if we would only learn, teach and model the kind of effective skills that develop self-introspection, understanding and self-management where trigger emotions are concerned.

Putting up signs around our schools, offices and churches that say: STOP BULLYING .. is putting ALL of our attention upon what is not wanted.

You have a two year old headed toward the electrical socket ... you point at the socket and say "Don't touch that electrical socket" and what does the baby do? Goes directly to the electrical socket as fast as he can to do what? Touch it!

The mind does not differentiate between a directive with a "not" (don't) in it ... the mind interprets everything as a "do" no matter how many "nots" you yell!

If you really want to stop bullying then put up signs that create a visual of a preferred outcome: BE A POSITIVE DIFFERENCE MAKER NO MATTER WHAT! BE THE EXAMPLE. WE TEACH PEOPLE HOW TO TREAT US... WHAT WILL YOU TEACH TODAY?

Make the time to watch Mary's F*ree Video OVERVIEW Training
makeadifference.com/VictimNoMore